My walk with God

Jesus is enough

2012-02-08T19:18:00.000+08:00

"I don't have enough.."

Sounds familiar?

We always wanted more, even in the things we don't really need in our lives.

We want more, it is not enough.

Jesus provides all our needs.

He gives us everything, if He doesn't give you yet, He is still waiting for the best timing to give it to you.

He'll give it to you.

The next time you're feeling that you don't have enough in your life,

think about Jesus Christ, think about the Cross.

Jesus Christ is enough.

2012-02-06T21:52:00.001+08:00

Gahh..

I'm so bored now..

*cough* *cough*~~

lalalalala~~

fralalalalala~~

wee...

weeeeeeeeee~~

XD..

my birthday's coming!!

Well in a month..

HAHA!

but still looking forward for it XP..

it's on a Tuesday though :(

boohoohoo..

GAHH I GOT TUITION ON THAT DAY!!

T______T..

oh wellsssssss.........

ssssssssss~~~

wellsssssss..

It's the weekend!

2012-02-03T20:54:00.003+08:00

Wootsss!

It's finally the weekend babehh! XD..

time to get the partaayy started!!

Hahaha..

Gahhh it had been a really really super duper busy week!

So many HOMEWORKSSSS, TUITIONSSS and stuffsss...

*faints*

BUT ITS FINALLY FRIDAAAYY!!

XD..

and it's FEBRUARY!

really really fast..

it's really like in a blink of an eye haha!

Had a really nice evening with dad~

Went for piano class and it went well! Feel so syok hehehe
then went dinner with dad..~

so blessed la!

XD..

that's my sister trying to spray the cockroach in my room..

I seriously dislike cockroach! GAHH!

school's been good..~

Mm..

Learnt that we should always count our blessings than our sorrows,

because when we do that, only then we'll realize that our blessings are actually more than our sorrows!

So be happy!

hehe..

Look at the things that you have and not the things that you lack ;)

So here's to February!

Cheerrs for an amazing month ahead!

WOOOOHOOOO!

XD..

I wanna be with You

2012-01-25T22:22:00.001+08:00

You’re more than just a song, You’re more than just a whim
You’re more than just a passing fantasy
You’re my Everyday
You’re my Every Way
You’re my Everything

I want to be with You

I need to be with You

I long to be with You, precious King

So with every day, Lord, in every way

You’re my Everything

-My Everything, Gateway Worship

Jesus - Lover of my Soul, my First Love;
My Lord, my Savior;

My Almighty Father, my Best Friend...

Jesus, my Everything.

Wednesday

2012-01-18T19:30:00.001+08:00

WOOHOOO!!!

Finally finished my homework hahahaahah!

Spent 1 and a half hours doing it! ARGGHHH!

XDD

but okay laaaaaaaaaaaa..

okok laaaaaaaaaaa...

Currently listening to : Lindsay McCaul, Beautiful God
#mynewinspiration !

2 more days of school..!

Make the best out of it everyone!

Have a great last 2 days of school! ;)

Things that you can do in 30 minutes

2012-01-16T22:16:00.000+08:00

Go up to your room and change into decent clothes,

come downstairs,

Open the fridge,

take out frozen Popcorn Chicken,

take out egg,

put egg into a bowl,

pour oil unto the frying pan,

wait for the oil to heat up,

take out a few Popcorn Chicken,

put it onto the frying pan,

fry for about 5 minutes,

take out a plate,

put Popcorn Chicken onto the plate,

put it on the dining table,

cover it with the cover,

break egg onto the bowl,

put it onto the frying pan,

fry it for about 3 minutes,

put rice unto a plate,

put egg onto the rice,

mix the rice with egg,

takes fork and spoon,

eat it for 4 minutes because tuition is at 6:30pm and it's 6:15pm now,

after eating,

wash plates,

wash frying pan,

wash fork and spoon,

put it back in place,

fill your water bottle,

put it onto the table,

pack up things from the dining table (Pencil box, books) ,

open the door,

then realizing key is up in your room,

run up 2 floors to get the key,

run down again, grab your bags and bottle,

open the fridge,

grab a pineapple and stuff it into your mouth,

dad comes : "CAMILIA!" "COMING!" ,

open the door, off the fan, lights,

grab your slippers and wear it,

lock the door, open the gate,

run out and go into the car,

close the gate, "SUCCESS! I got to eat my pineapple! XD"

Things that you can do in 30minutes, on a Monday evening.

How much things can you do in 5 minutes?

Forgiveness

2012-01-11T21:17:00.000+08:00

Haha.. just wanna do a little quick post...

Yesterday, I was thinking about 'Forgiveness' before I went to bed..
I realized that these two words, 'I'm sorry' and 'It's okay, don't feel sorry..', reflects so much about love.

We make mistakes in life, we say things we don't mean, we show faces and emotions that we didn't really want to show..
We argue, we get angry...

We can do all that, but ultimately, don't forget forgiveness.
Don't forget that two small word, 'I'm sorry', because it could lead to a large impact.

That two words, could change the world.

So it's important to ask forgiveness, not only to God, but also to the ones that you've hurt.

I was praying..
" God, I'm sorry about what I've done just now... I really did not mean it.."

then it's as if He answered me :
"Don't just say it me, tell it to the ones that you've hurt."

" - sigh - Alright Lord.."

And when you apologize, after you've got your reply, saying that it's okay, you'll feel a really incredible feeling..

You'll feel loved :)

You'll feel loved whether is it with the relationship with your family member, with your friends, or even with your husband and wife, or your loveyyyy doveeeyyy ones XDDD

when you apologize, and when they forgive,
you'll feel loved.

Forgiveness is a part of the power of Love.
and that's how amazing it is!

Don't know what forgiveness is?
Look above, Look at the cross.

;)

A song to end the post :

It's a wrap

2012-01-08T19:24:00.001+08:00

7th January, 2012 - marks a day of history for my life.

Well it's finally finished now! Haha!
The First Production that I've ever organized.. wow!

Praise God for His guidance and love..

It all started on that small step of faith,

that small courage in saying, : "Lord, I'll do this for you, even if I fall, I know you'll hold me through..."

The road wasn't easy, tough times, tough decisions to be made..

but God had never fail to hold my hand..

I wanted to finish strong, and I've finally did it..
Thank You Lord..

3 months of hard work and effort that the team has made,

and it all paid off on that Saturday ..

As I was on my way home that night, I saw that same star on the night sky..
It was as if God was reminding me : "I'm here.."
It was that same old star that I saw when I waited outside for my Aunt to come and fetch me on the first day of school last year, when I was still that new student in school...
"I'm here."

I laughed, I smiled, and I told God : "God, You're one funny God.."

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding - Proverbs 3:5

Sometimes you don't know whether it is the right thing to do,

you're confused, you're mourning..

You think whether, is it all worth it?

Lean not on your own understanding..

Trust in the Lord, and He will make your paths straight.

That was what I have experienced, on the 7th of January.

Dedicated to a Special Friend

2011-12-31T13:39:00.001+08:00

Dear Wan Li,

Happy Birthday! Haha..

You were the friend who seated beside me back in 2009 and 2010..
We've been friends for 3 years already, and have been in the same class, SAME SEATING!!, for the past 2 years of High School!!

2009

We went through so much together that year, we faced our fears together, we shared secrets together XD

and I still remember, on 2010, you became a librarian, every Monday, we had to go to school early at 8am to tugas, and you know how much I hated it.. XP

Always had to find chairs EVERY DAY when we enter our classrooms...
but somehow we were always doing EVERYTHING together!!

Hahahaha...

You've seen me cry before, and I've seen you cry before..
We got mad at each other before, and we became friends right after that..

Through ups and downs, you were always there..!

This year, 2011, I had to leave.. :(
I went to school alone, and to tell you the truth, everyday isn't the same anymore.. T___T

but anyhow.. that doesn't ever affect our friendship!!

WOOHOO!!!

XDD..

Happy Birthday Wan Li,

you've taught me how to be strong, how to be.. well how to be just myself..
You've taught me to laugh, you've taught me to never look down on myself..

Continue to be that friend to everyone else, because I know that Wan Li is a great friend! :)))

Lastly, hope you'll..

and always remember..
WE'LL BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!!

woohooooo!!! 3 cheers for FRIENDSHIP! XD

Happy Birthday Wan Li, may your dreams continue to be higher, may your life be a light to others around you..LOVE YOU LOTS!! and God LOVES YOU TOO!!

Love,

Camilia

I'm afraid

2011-12-30T23:35:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I'm really afraid of taking chances..

I'm afraid that the decisions I make won't always be the best..

I'm so afraid of life itself..
People.. Decisions..

It's never easy..
Sometimes you just don't know whether you're doing it right or not..
You have to look at every corner, at every faces...

at every heart..

I'm afraid..

so very afraid..

think this song really speaks a lot about life :

Sometimes you don't know what's the best way for you, for everyone..

but it's alright to make mistakes, it's alright that not every time you get to please everyone..
as long as you remember that God will be by your side each time you feel afraid..
He'll be there to hold you when you fall, didn't He promised that He'll never leave you alone?

You're never alone facing the trials of life..
It'll never be too big for God and Us to solve it...

So strive.. strive a little more..

This is my desire.

You are my strength

2011-12-28T19:42:00.003+08:00

"You are my strength, strength like no other, strength like no other, reaches to me..."

28th December, 2011
Dear Bloggie,

Haha, yup that's me right up there.. First time actually posting a picture of me haha! Took that from school.. Today we had another Christmas Production practise, it was from 9am to 3pm.. Yesterday we had one too.. I really can't believe that time is passing so fast, the production is next week! Wow!

"You are my hope, hope like no other, hope like no other, reaches to me..."

It has been really tiring... I'm starting to feel all the burdens climbing on me already.. @.@'''.. and can you believe it, tuitions are going to be starting next week! I feel that I haven't had enough rest... there's just so many things to do.. wargh!!

1... 2... 3... Close your eyes, count till 3.. take a deep breath, and count on Him... 1... 2... 3...

One thing's certain though, I thank God for the support of my family and friends, for making the production come to life. So much hard work, so much time sacrificed... T__T..

Well, time for dinner. In the mean time, I'll be trusting Jesus.

Signing off.

Missing something?

2011-12-26T20:23:00.005+08:00

26th December, 2011
Dear Bloggie,

Well, Daddy and Mummy finally bought me a nice Digital Camera to reward me for my PMR archivement! Haha.. but I still feel that I should get a video camera instead.. Oh wells, cheers to the pursuit of camera-taking! Kachiakss! XD..

Yup.. for the last WHOLE week, I was at home resting, sleeping, resting... Had a huge headache, couldn't go to school, couldn't do anything, just ate my medicine, eat, sleep... but I'm finally well now thank God! Somehow I think that God made me sick so that I could rest a lil...

Holidays are ending, I'm really asking myself : Did I wasted my holidays? All I really wanted to do was to pamper myself, go to movies, meet up with my old friends.. but I've never done any of that... that's why this week, I'm gonna have a movie outing with my cousins! Though it's not with my old friends.. :( Sigh, I wish I could drive!

I somehow feel like I'm missing something. Something really really important.. the year is almost ending, but I still feel there's something I'm forgetting...

Is it with my family? I've been aware with my actions lately, I need to change the way I talk and act to my parents. I need to love them! I need to care for them..! Camilia, you need to change!

Yeah maybe it's that.. but I don't know.. I still feel abit sad in the inside.. I really don't know what it is.. Perhaps the reality that the year is finally ending is starting to hit me... Ouch.. I still can't believe that it's going to end so soon. Too soon, too fast.

Well... I don't know.

Signing off.

1,2,3

2011-12-21T15:37:00.001+08:00

If my life were a movie,

what would it be called?

The girl with adventures,

or the life full of wonders.

If my life were a movie,

who would be my dreams?

I know, my family and friends,

and that great big God.

If my life were a movie,

will there be a love story?

Yes, is the answer, towards the end,

I'll see an old man, and an old woman,

hands to hands, back to back.

1,2,3.

haha! I wrote this poem this morning after I woke up..

It's nothing biggy but felt like sharing it haha!

1st poem X)

tmrw's PMR results!

*fingers crossed*

Stronger

2011-12-19T11:07:00.000+08:00

Gahh.. I haven't been updating my blog for such a long time!!

Been very busy these few days..

Went to Church for 3 days straight for a Christmas Production..
So tiring @.@'''

Had to serve on Saturday and Sunday...

Yesterday I was in Church for like 11 hours!!!

warrhhh..

Been busy doing things for my school's Christian Fellowship's Club..

We're gonna have a Christmas Production on the 7th of January!!

Haha..

Do come!!

7th January, 3pm~ hehe..

Tickets are RM3..

sighh...

yesterday when I was in church mending a booth..

The person beside me chit chatted with me..

I told her about my school's production..

About how there are people who were against me..

About how there are people who always complained to me..

It's never easy to organize something like this..

moreover it's my first time doing it..

She gave me motivation, encouragements..

And I really thank God for placing me just right there..

She told me : "There will surely be a lot of people who will be against you, but if your purpose for this whole event is on solid rock, then it'll be okay, don't let anything bring you down, it's all part of God's plan anyway.."

mm..

I have a strong God to depend on..

doesn't matter if people are against me..

I know that organizing this whole event is for Jesus and Jesus only, I'll never let anyone bring me down.

YOU HEARD THAT PEOPLE?!?!?!?!

XD..

CAMILIA TEE ISN"T LETTING ANYONE BRING HER DOWN!!

woohoooooo!!!

Can't wait for Christmas!!

I needed this

2011-11-29T20:18:00.001+08:00

Dad, I'm so stressed.
"Why?"
-blurts our everything-
"Here you go.. what flavor do you like? I know you like this one *takes a red bean ice-creme out from the freezer* Take out your stress"
Thanks Dad.

BURDENED!

2011-11-29T17:50:00.001+08:00

You know what, I think I'm feeling like that person up there in the pic.

AHHHHHHHH!!!

I NEED A VACATION!!!

urgggggggghhhhhhh...

I am so tired of layan-ing people already!!!!

REALLY FED UP AH!!!

WHAT DO THEY THINK THIS IS!?

A JOKE?!?!

I'm so fed up. I'm so tired.

:'(

Bubbly

2011-11-26T11:33:00.001+08:00

WOOHOO!!!

Hey hey hey! XD..

AHHHHHHH I AM SO BORED!!!

it's SATURDAY~

it's been one year since I've been in Shah Alam! :)

okay, shall go find a new template to Mark this day!

WOOHOO!!

Moving Forward

2011-11-23T11:26:00.001+08:00

Woohoo!

Hey everyone!

Ahh.. haven't been updating my blog for SOOOO long!

Well school holidays are officially here!

Time to relax, and party all night! XD..

Been busy doing stuffs for my School's CF, we're organizing a Christmas Production called UNCONDITIONAL
haha!
We couldn't have gone so far without Jesus..

so thank Jesus for guiding us! Hehe!

Life is all about making mistakes, that's what I recently came to learn about.
Don't be afraid in making mistakes, because there is a purpose for every mistakes we make.
Jesus wants to train you through those mistakes, He wants to mold you and change you.
Every step that you take, take it bigger, take it higher, when you fall, Jesus will pick you back up, and you'll continue taking that step again.

So it's alright.. it's definitely alright..

Don't worry.. learn from those mistakes.

but above all..

Let love overcome it, because love overcomes all things.

Do everything out of love.

Looking forward for the future!

Let's continue making mistakes, and learning from them!

xoxo.

2011-11-13T21:02:00.001+08:00

What am I suppose to do when everything seems to be falling away..?

What am I suppose to do when nothing seems to be working out..?

Tell me what am I suppose to do..

Finding Strength

2011-11-12T10:57:00.001+08:00

Hello bloggie..~

I have no one to talk to about my problems..

so I guess I only have you to share it with..

Well yesterday was 11/11/11!

It was.. good for me~

just some stuff happened and yea..~

Yesterday was the first day of Christmas Production Audition!
I really thank God for the people who came, it was good! :)

I've been looking so much at the things that I lack recently..

"It's not enough.."
"Why so little..?"

" No one is listening to me.."

Sighh..

I'm just really really really REALLY tired right now..

I'm tired of always being the last..

I'm tired of always serving others..

I'm tired of doing everything by myself..

I'm so tired of.. of so many things!

I just want to rest.

I just want someone to tell me : "Hey, you've done a great job!"

Instead of looking at my weaknesses...

I just need someone to talk to..

Someone I'm comfortable with..

Not just God..

but someone physical...

Where is everyone?

='(..

I know i can't look back now..

I can't just give up like that..

What's done is done..

I must continue..

I must strive forward...

but i'm just so tired...

so tired of having hope..

so tired of having faith..

so tired of trusting...

I just want to go back...

I want to go back...

:'(...

I don't want to stretch out..

I want to go back to my comfort zone..

I'm so tired..

Sigh..

Everybody fall sometimes.. you will find the strength to rise..

Stress

2011-11-10T17:44:00.003+08:00

Warrgghh!
There's just so many things to do now..
@.@'''..

So tired..

You are stronger, You are stronger..

Sin is broken, You have saved me..
It is written Christ is Risen,

Jesus You are Lord of all...

I am an imperfect person..
I can't do things well..

I get angry..
I get grumpy..

I can't lead well,

I can't do things well..

but I'll go forward..

I'll be God's good soldier..

I'll keep moving on..

!!!!!!!!!!!

Dare you to move

2011-11-08T11:13:00.001+08:00

For the past 3 days, Shalom, Natasha slept over at my house!

We had to do decorations for a Surprise Birthday Party for our beloved Teacher Adviser, Mr Jacob.

it wasn't easy to do all the decorations, we had only 3 days to finish it!

but it was a fun experience!

I remembered on the Third Day@ 3a.m ( we stayed up that late!) , when we made the 5meter long banner, I told Shalom :

" You know, have you ever wondered why are you doing this? Why are we working so hard for this, we did so many things and everything? So much of efforts, so much of sacrifices.."

Shalom said :

" Yeah.. it's okay though.. We're doing this for God anyway.. "

Do not give up in doing good, for in due time, you will reap the harvest.

It wasn't easy doing this whole decoration, there were times when we grumbled, stomped our feet, so stress of everything..

but it was great to know that we're not alone, but we have each other doing this together.

It was truly a fun-filled experience!
We had girly girl talks at Night XD, we cooked...
Haha!

Was fun :)

so... What's next?

Hello new week!

2011-10-30T19:35:00.000+08:00

My first ever Christian Worship CD!

Well Hello New Week!
Time to wake up early, time to buckle up our seat belts, and ARISE!!
XD..

All the best to You!

CHEERS!

2011-10-29T09:48:00.001+08:00

I guess the picture just speaks about everything. =)

All gone?

2011-10-24T11:59:00.002+08:00

I'm not sure if it'll work out..

I'm not sure what would happen after this...

What should I do?

Yesterday was a good day!

I met some of my old CG friends again..

Not sure if I should call them 'My Old CG' ?

Well, new or old.. they're still precious to me..

Had lunch with them..

I felt the comfort again I once feel back home..

It almost seem magical just to be with them but somehow I just feel things had changed so much..

or was it just me?

Time and distance...

I had quite a bad night on Saturday..

Everything was just so complicated for me that night..

Work, CG, Church, CF, Friends, Family...

GAAHH..

I really don't know why I had so much stress..

I cried out to God.. I needed Him.

I felt tired, I didn't want to go to Church the next day..

Really really tired..

I feel like I've done so much sin, I dissapointed so many people..

I am a failure.

I needed someone to talk to.

I needed to feel that comfort again.

I needed to do something, go somewhere without feeling that feeling of fear, feeling of lack..

The Next Morning, my friend encouraged me to go to Church, and so I went..

After Church, I felt as if all my burdens have been lifted up... All problems solved..

Work, CG, Church, CF, Friends, Family..

and I got to meet my dearest Old CG friends again!

I came home, I told my sister : "I'm so happy today.. I met my friends again!"

then my Sister said : "Yea! God really knows how to make you happy.."

Maybe God really wants me to be happy..

He doesn't want to see me crying.. see me sad..

Mm..

Just hang on to God a little more..

Just trust in Him a little more..

He'll set you free, He'll bring you out of the deep, dark pit...

Hang on.

=')

2011-10-22T22:42:00.002+08:00

I'm so sad now..

I miss my old friends..

I miss so many things...

why is it so hard to move on?!?

It's Saturday

2011-10-22T12:27:00.001+08:00

Well it's finally the long-waited Saturday!

it had been a busy, fun, crazy week! XD..

My friends and I had been spending the whole week of school decorating the Prayer Meeting Room.

haha !

It had been quite tiring..

but the process was fun :)

Really blessed to have them..

"It's gonna be fine cos, hehe, we were never doing this alone, with our friends and of course our God. So, chillax~~"

My friend, Shalom, sent me this text..

I was stressed up of the whole decoration thing because we had not enough time, it all seem impossible..

but now when I look back, I really want to thank God so much for being with us, for making the process fun!

I need to remind myself that I'm never alone, but I have my friends, I have my God..

Don't give up in doing good, time is not a limitation.

Looking forward for the following week!

Perfect?

2011-10-13T17:17:00.001+08:00

These few days I've been having a hard time on whether what I'm doing is right or wrong...

Everytime after school and when I get back home,

I'll go to my room and pray and... I'm just never satisfied of my actions...

Sometimes I feel when I do certain certain actions, I feel that it's not right...

I feel that it's not right to be so hyper...

arggghh... I really don't know what's right or what's wrong anymore...

but then God told me : "Camilia, stop trying to be perfect."
" but Lord... I'm doing it for you..? I thought you want me to be... be... be perfect? Be Godly? but I can just never do it right!"
"Dear, I've never asked you to be perfect... I just want you to be my Child... You ARE perfect in me.. You don't have to try, because you already ARE my dear!"

I realized that no one is perfect and that if you try so hard to be perfect, you can never be satisfied.

All of us are sinners, we can never be sinless by our efforts.

"For it is by grace, you have been saved, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not through works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

So stop trying to be perfect, stop trying to impress others...

instead, start to impress God, start to be God's CHILD!

Be His child... His one and only Child... His precious child!

You're doing a GREAT job! =)

2011-10-09T10:56:00.001+08:00

Weee...

Haha!

Just wanna write a quick post...

I LOVE JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XDD...

God's grace is enough..

T___T..

I love Him so much!!

AHHH!!!

XDD...

Prayer for today :

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You Lord for loving me.

I love you but You love me more..

I know you'll never fail me..

I'm sorry Lord that many times I've failed You, but I know Your faith will always be everlasting.

I want to live my life for You, all of my days, for You, alone.

In Jesus's most wonderful name, I pray,

Amen.

Let's fix our eyes on Jesus, and overcome the waves of life! =)

Few more days left!

2011-10-07T18:27:00.001+08:00

Hey heeyy~

XD..

Today's FRIDAY!!!

XD..

PMR has lasted for 3 days! Still left 5 more papers, 3 more subjects!
God has been good, guiding me, blessing me with friends&families to give me encouragements.

Time to conquer the next few papers!

-Rest In Peace Steve Jobs-
"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life" -Steve Jobs

Feelin' like it's my birthday again

2011-09-30T20:31:00.003+08:00

I have LOADS of things to blog about today!

Firstly...

I saw a rainbow on my way to school this Morning!!!

IT WAS AMAZING!!!

The biggest, brightest RAINBOW I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!!

AHHH!!!

I even saw an arc over it!

And it ended right at my CF's Morning Prayer Meeting Room!

Haha!

I didn't had a camera that time ( If I had, I would be taking plenty of pictures!)

So I drew a picture instead when I came home from school. ( I was THAT excited!)

Here's the Drawing :

Taadaa!

XD..

I know I know.. I'm not such a good painter, but I just had to draw it!

That's Daniel on my Right, and the girl on the uniform is ME! ( I have BROWN hair! XD)

XD..

That's the prayer meeting room ( brown building ) and a guitar, and the black shadow is Jonathan (Daniel's Brother).

Do you see that white thing from the cloud?

That's not lightning, it's actually suppose to be on the other side of the sky, it looks something like an Aurora, it had beautiful shining lights and it's as if Angels were coming down from the sky!

I had to draw that too...

After the rainbow, the sun immediately rose up!

It was a real beautiful morning!

I felt like ... God's telling me that He'll always be there for me, and that He will always keep His promise.

=').. I'm so blessed today!

Then we had prayer meeting in the Room~ the Form 4's, Form 5's and our Dearest Mr.Jacob prayed for all the Form 3's.

Then we went to the taklimat room to hear our "Last Words" from our teachers haha!

Secondly, look what I've found in my Mail Box today!

A PARCEL!!!!!!

*screams*
( sorry, I had to cover my address)

I was so excited when my mum called out : "Camilia, you have a very large envelope in here."

I was literally JUMPING UP AND DOWN!!

I've always looked forward for letters, for people sending me stuff through Mail rather through email.. HEHE!

Day by day, I'll look at the mail box, and get excited when I saw envelopes...

Little did I know, it were all addressed to My Parents, bills, wedding invitations...

then TADA!!

I received this today!!

So I look at it, excited to see what's inside this HUGE envelope!

then I opened it..

and look!

it's a Glee Notebook!

It's a little pressie my beloved Sister in Christ got for me to wish me all the best for PMR all the way from LIVERPOOL!

AHHHH!!!!!!

I WAS SHOUTING WHEN I OPENED IT!! HAHAHA!!

LITERALLY SHOUTING!

Thank you sooo much Deniece.. T___T...

I've been receiving so much blessings lately..

Wishes, SMS-es, calls, presents and today.. the Rainbow!

All to wish me All the Best for PMR..

I feel like it's my birthday again.. where everyone wished me, gave me presents..

I really don't deserve every bit of this blessings...

but I thank God sooooo much for it!

I've never felt this... happy before after these hectic weeks of studying...

=')..

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I'm gonna remember this DAY FOREVER in MY HEART!!

hahahaha!

I feel like I'm God's little girl again...

cradling in His arms...

thank You Daddy...

Well, PMR is just in 3 more days!

Best of EVERYTHING!

I'll do my best... *breaths in*

not sure if I can make it through.. but I'll know that my Daddy up there will be with me, will be holding me..

All the best!

2011-09-26T18:41:00.000+08:00

Nothing seem to be working out for me these days.

Was walking my dog just now...

and my neighbors were walking theirs.

Then my dog started getting 'excited' then it ran towards the neighbor's dog.

it ran so fast I had no control, then the chain fell off my hands to the grounds.

My neighbor was shouting, trying to protect its dog.

Then a man came and used his leg to step the chain to stop the dog.

My dad came out.

Talked to the neighbors.

Went back home.

I wanted to take a breather.

I couldn't take the pressures anymore.

I needed the exercise.

Why this then?

My pimples are growing more and more,

my computer system couldn't work so well,

I couldn't chat with my old friends,

I feel alone,

I feel like an outcast.

='(..

I know my Daddy in Heaven will never forsake me for my weaknesses..

He will not hate me or leave me because I'm useless...

He'll still love me, He'll still give me that big Daddy hug..

I thank Him so much for His grace, for His mercy, for His love..

We're so small, He's so big.. yet He still loves us with an undying love.

The world is big.

It's not just about us, it's not about me, Me and Me...

we need to learn to be selfless.

Less of ourselves, more of God.

Remind ourselves again and again that it's not because of us that we're here in the first place.

It's because of God's Grace that we're here today!

God will never forsake you for your weaknesses.

Hello

2011-09-24T21:15:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone!

This was me during trials :

BUT!

this is me saying : "BRING IT ON PMR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

RAWR!

XD..

Well, PMR is still 10 days more!

Today marks the day of the First Day of Freedom after the 2nd Trials!

hehe!

All the best PMR students!

Let's do it all for God, TOGETHER!

Maybe

2011-09-21T16:24:00.000+08:00

And maybe some day I'll be a musician, flying to Boston, meet all kinds of people, meet a special someone (who is blond and have blue eyes) and have a family and live happily ever after with a great job, serving as a worship leader..

Maybe.

The God I know

2011-09-17T18:34:00.000+08:00

When the stage is bare tonight
There’s no one else
Just You and me
When the curtains close behind
There’s no pretense
I’m on my knees

I will lay down my life
For the love sacrifice
You gave to me
It’s all because of You
All because of You

The God I know
Righteous and Holy
The God I know
Faithful and true
The God I know
My tower of refugeHearts are healed
Christ revealed

The God I know
Light of the City
The God I know
Strengthens the weak
The God I know
Your heart beats within me
As You are, so are we

This is my cry
My one desire
More of You
More of You

The church He knows
Righteous and Holy
The church He knows
Is faithful and true
The church He knows
A tower of refuge
Hearts are healed
Christ revealed

The church He knows
Light of this city
The church He knows
Strengthens the weak
The church He knows
Is strong and mighty
As He is, so are we

-the God I know - City Harvest Church

Loose to gain

2011-09-14T18:48:00.000+08:00

Hey hey!

Gaahhh.. I just can't study anymore!!!

but I've been resting for so long T__T..

fine fine fine..

I'll study after writing this blog post..

One day at home, my sister. Charmaine, got really sakai and crazy and she was running around the house. NOW STOP READING!!!
( writing this because my sister is currently at my side, looking at the monitor screen.. = ='' )

- my sis.

Anyway, this was suppose to be a sentimental post!

Now shew! Go away!

I SAY GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!

grrr.. nvm.. shall ignore my sis!

Mm.. today I wanna write about loosing to gain.

Nobody likes the feeling of loosing.

I have lost so many things in my life...

I've lost my closest friends, I've lost all those beautiful memories..

and perhaps, I can never get it back again..

Was looking through all the old messages and letters in my room yesterday night..

I cried at each letter,

Smiled at each letter, card..

bits of memories..

ever so precious...

Really miss my old friends..

but sometimes, it's when we learn to loose, that we gain!

We loose our old friends to gain new friends,

we loose our old memories, to gain new memories,

We loose our old feelings, to gain new feelings.

It's when we learn to loose and to let go of everything, that we receive and gain.

It may be painful to loose.. and to let go..

and it definitely takes time to learn to let go of it 100% completely,

but don't fear of loosing, don't fear of letting go,

because you're not letting go of it to anyone..

but you're letting go of it to God!

and God will make sure those things that you've let go be safe and sound.

and He will take good care of them.

In our lives,

it's filled with loosing, it's filled with letting go, it's filled with goodbyes..

but there's one person that we never, ever need to loose, never ever need to let go, never ever need to say goodbye to..

and that's..

God.

So dear friends,

learn to loose..

that you may gain.

Sometimes, letting go, is one of the best decision that you and I could ever make.

Let go, and let God be in control.

Lots of love and blessings!

When You look me in the eyes..

2011-09-12T18:01:00.000+08:00

Searching

2011-09-11T19:45:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone!

Wanna take out some time to just write my blog.. hehe..

Life now is good :)

Mummy gave me a ring...

Decided to wear it to remind me God's unfailing love for me...

It's been almost 11 months now since I've been here in Shah Alam..

There are times when I would just take out my old stuff, take a glimpse of the past...

and a tear or two would just fall..

It's the season now where I don't know what God's plan for me now..

I know He had place me in Shah Alam for a reason..

It's just that... it's hard to keep up the faith even when you know that it's so hard...

but.. I realized one thing...

God remained faithful.

We loose our faith in God,

but God will never loose His faith toward us.

He had never once left me alone..

When I was crying, He was there...

He was there holding me in His embrace...

He was there taking my fears away, singing me a new song..

He loves me.

He loves me.

and He loves You too.

Though it's so hard to move on,

but never give up your faith in God.

God will always be there, God will always love you.

If His love were an ocean, we would all be sinking..

and that's how much He loves us!

Keep up the faith, be a good soldier..

Have a great week!

Striving with you,

Camilia.

2011-09-10T17:49:00.000+08:00

Don't let feelings control you

Don't let feelings control you
Don't let feelings control you

2011-09-07T16:00:00.000+08:00

"Andrea, I have so many ambitions.. a doctor, a musician.. and everything else!! But.. now.. I'll only choose one ambition. I want to be... a... christian worship leader!!! I want to sing for Jesus. So therefore, I want to be a musician!!!" -2010

The Past

2011-09-07T15:52:00.000+08:00

Was just browsing through my hotmail account, and I've found so many e-mails that I've wrote to my friends in the past and also the e-mails that my friends has sent me..

Really missed those times...

:'(..

but.. it's okay!

God wants you and I to be the best for today..

so... let's be our best today!

:')

Time for school!

2011-09-04T19:28:00.000+08:00

Just a quick post before I head to bed and call it a day :

Well, tomorrow's School!

Today marks the end of the Raya Holidays..

Time to hear that ~~noisy~~ alarm clock again,

time to wake up at 5a.m in the morning,

time to eat Bread every morning....

Well, I had enough rest.

It's time to buckle up our seat belts, and get ready for a brand new journey!

Remember, you're not driving it alone..

Jesus is holding the wheel :)

Driving with you,

Camilia.

2011-09-03T21:37:00.002+08:00

Dear God,

We had to move again last week.

Now I have to find all new friends. I hope I like them.

Dad says we won't have to move anymore when we get to heaven.

You'll be there forever and I'll never have to leave my friends because I'm moving.
Wow!

-taken from 'God's little devotional book for Kids'

I've got a new dream!

2011-09-03T12:25:00.001+08:00

Camilia's Bakery Cafe

If God wills! :)

When will my life begin?

2011-09-02T19:05:00.000+08:00

Hey!

The kids whom my mum babysat has gone back home.

I surely am going to miss them lots!

I'm feeling a bit sentimental now ='(..

Throughout these 7 days,

of course, some times, the kids will just be a pain in my neck.

I can't have peace and quiet, and they are times when I really felt like pushing them away from me...

but now that they're gone,

I'm missing those noises, those shouts.. haha!

I'm missing how Avery hold my hand every time, I miss how she always, I mean ALWAYS, seats on my lap, even when I'm playing the piano!

I miss how little Alfred always force me to play with him, UNO, Angry Birds.. gahhh!!

Haha.. but they've been so wonderful!

We've shared little secrets (which I can't tell you xP but I really do wish to tell you, haha! )..

Well, I didn't realize till now..

God had sent them to stay with me to spend my Raya Holidays, not just to get us closer together,

but.. God wanted to get my 'fire' back... My fire for Him, my Energy ever so pumped up for Him when I was young...

After these 7 days spent with the little kids,

I've felt God's presence, I... finally have my FIRE back on for God!

God, You're amazing!

2011-09-01T16:24:00.002+08:00

~~Hi my name is Camilia~~

~~and I'm bored.~~

Day 4

2011-09-01T13:51:00.003+08:00

~~2. Watch a movie in the computer.~~

Everything's Changing

2011-08-31T13:48:00.001+08:00

Hey there!

How are you?

Well, first of all,

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!

XD..

*blows whistle* *throws balloons everywhere*

and also Selamat Hari Raya to all Muslim Friends! =)

Hehe..

it's been 5 days of holidays! (including Saturday and Sunday)

Lately, my mum's babysitting these 2 little kiddies..

Rawr

Haha.. so I've been playing a lot with them..

My mum's a bit stressed up because they can get on your sleeves at times..

and to tell you the truth, I get a bit stressed up too..

I can't have my daily quiet time like I used to with God because they're sleeping in my room ==''..

I can't study,

I can't do this, do that...

And they always force me to play with them...

Sometimes I have this thought : "If I were like the other teenagers, I'm sure they wouldn't play with kids.. Then why am I doing this?"

and God told me : "You're not of the world, you belong to Me. Don't be conform to the things of the world..."

I guess it's alright to not feel comfortable..

It just simply means I'm stretching up my faith!

I get really tired every now and then,

Sometimes I feel like not getting up from bed at all..

"This is suppose to be MY holiday, I want to REST, I don't want to feel BURDENED..."

but well.. God will give me strength..

As I woke up this morning,

I gaze out my room window..

Suddenly a bird came and stood right out side my window,

then came another bird...

then the other...

"Consider the ravens : they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!" Luke 12:24

Mm...

Do not worry about tomorrow..

God will care for you, you are much more valuable than the birds..

Cheers for God!

and cheers for Life!

Stress-Free

2011-08-27T15:39:00.000+08:00

Hey!

It's finally the holidays haha!

I can feel all my burdens LIFTED UP!!!

WOOOO!!!

Daddy went to China, I miss him so much already =(..

I noticed one thing so special about my dad.

He's the kind of father who doesn't know how to express himself,

He actually really loves us so much though he does not show it..

T__T.. To me, that's really a sacrificial love!

I'm having this really mild Hand, Mouth and Foot disease, Gaahhh.. and on the holidays!!

=/..

But I wanna thank God for it too because through that, I saw how blessed am I to have wonderful friends around me!

My CF friend, some of them called, texted me and asked me how am I doing..

T_____T..

huhuhuhuuu.. I'm so touched.. aihhh..

*hugs* love you all!!

Also..

when I was really really down,

Melia, Jin Shyan called me too to encourage me and pray for me.. T____T..

Thank you so much..

Ya..

Sometimes I tell God : "God, why whenever I cry, no one's here to pat my back, call me, lend me a shoulder to cry on? "

And I'll feel so lonely..

but I guess it's alright to cry alone!

Besides, you're crying to God!

HEHE!!

WELL, it's finally the holidays!

and I've finished the first thing on my Holiday To-Do List!

~~1. Clean Room~~

Happy Holidays everyone!

Camilia = Imperfect

2011-08-22T19:52:00.002+08:00

sighhhhhhhhhhhhh..

I am so... sooo... SOOOO...

forgetfuluselesslazycarelesseverythingalsonogood

=(..

I accidentally smashed my Aunt's loaf of Bread with my violin just now,

my dad's complaining how we never go back to hometown while my cousins flew back all the way from USA to Malaysia just to go back to hometown, while we're just a few kilometers away,

I don't do good in my exams,
I'm scared of teeny tiny bugs =='' ..

I AM FAT, like seriously.. I ate so much these days.. must be the exam's stress.. GAHHH..

My face's filled with pimples,

I don't do any house chores,
Oh and I'm a super messy person.......

urrrrrggggghhhhhhhhh...

I'm just imperfect.

SIGHH..

Despite all my imperfections..

God still loved me..

='(

Angel :

2011-08-16T21:12:00.001+08:00

Great measures requires great sacrifice..

It's the right thing to do..

I have no other choice..

I'm sorry..

May the Lord be with you always!

Always remember, I'm right here praying for you, looking out for you, and always will support you! =)

.. Have a good life.

My Life~~

2011-08-13T12:02:00.000+08:00

The New Cell Group God has blessed me with..

Hey everyone!

Just wanna take out some time of studying to write my blog.

It's been kinda long since I wrote my blog

haha!

Hmmm.. my life so far.. had been good! :)

I thank God for always blessing me with wonderful new friends , for taking care of my every step..

When God took something in my life away,

He blessed me with something else.

He never once made me feel lonely, He made sure that He will meet my every needs..

The same thing He had done for me, He will do it to you too!

Trust in God that He will meet all your needs! - sometimes even more than you want!

YUP!

I went Cell Group last thursday~ hehe..

Learnt about How to be A Winner!!!

XD..

To Live is Christ, and to die, is gain!

=D..

School had been good too!

My RR Friends and I have been planning to give the students of my school Chocolates + a lil note to bless them for their exams!

Hehe..

I really thank God for them too!

Always so supportive, Godly people!

Yea!

It's really awesome to have them!

And also my new classmates too!!

Haha.. everyday with them, is never a boredom!

I thank God for this amazing class He has put me in!

don't forget the cousins too, who had been with me and made sure I never once felt lonely! =)

Not forgetting the wonderful friends, Sisters and Brothers in Christ who had taught me to grow, taught me to laugh and smile in the past :

Think about what you have, and not what you don't have.

Take a look deeper, don't let the surface blind you.

You can find God's goodness, in every big- and small- blessings He had given you.

2011-08-09T15:37:00.002+08:00

Hello Random Peopless!!

goodbye random peoples.. T__T..

Lack

2011-08-05T21:44:00.000+08:00

Went to Cell Group yesterday and we learnt about how to get back right up in tough times!

Our Cell Group leader, Jeffrey, gave us an example with a doughnut.

You can choose to look at life either to look at the hole, at the things that you lack,

or choose to see the dough surrounding it, the things that you have.

So many times we just keep on blaming others, looking at their faults..

We couldn't accept the fact that everyone's imperfect, everyone has their own imperfection..

We scold them, we blame them, when we don't even look at our own lives.

We lack too.

Don't look at what others lack, but look at their positive values!

Everyone has their strength and weaknesses :)

Though we're so imperfect, but choose to love.

Choose to love each other, though we're so imperfect. :)

The Doughnut, you can either choose to complain and complain about what you don't have in your life,

when God has already given you the things that you need...

Look deeper, look around...

Don't look at what you lack, look at what you have. :)

God bless!

You are awesome just the way you are, don't be someone else you're not..

Don't die a copy.

Nuts!

2011-07-29T20:00:00.001+08:00

Wargghh.. I'm so tired..

Huhu..

You wake up at 5:30a.m and you go to school,

you come back from school at 3p.m and you go off studying until 6p.m,

then it's time for tuition at 6:30pm,

then you go off studying again after you get back from tuition.

GAAHH!!

It's driving me nuts!!

T__T''...

Just now I got scolded by my mum because she said I was too involved in my Christianity Work..

I was a bit offended by that..

I mean this whole week I didn't even stayed back at school!

I only stayed back today because I had a netball tournament..

I'm not even that involved!!

What's wrong with being involved in God's work?

Is it 'distracting'?

Is it 'taking over my time'?

Is it 'affecting my studies'?

Grrr...

SIGHH...

Well... I shall count on God then!!

Aih..

Tomorrow's Subang Rally!!

weeeee...

Mixed Feelings

2011-07-26T20:59:00.000+08:00

I still miss my old friends..

I missed how I look forward so much for the weekends because I got to see my Brothers and Sisters in Christ...
Those times, I would feel like there weren't anyone who loved me or accepted me except them, that is why I looked forward on weekends because I get to go to Youth, get to see them....

but now I had to leave them, I had to leave my comfort zone , I had to pack my bags, leave it all to God..

Of course, God has blessed me with wonderful friends now..

And I thank God for that!

But there are also times where I felt so lonely..

Where I just feel like running away...

Running away from everything...

Running into God's open arms..

Make new friends, but don't forget the old ones,

One is silver, one is Gold..

When there are no one else whom you could count to,

no one else to tell your feelings, to tell your problems,

Always remember, God is still there.

Always, and forever will.

Make new friends, but don't forget the old ones,

One is silver, one is gold, but both are treasures, so precious.

But both will fade, both will soon leave your side, both can be taken away..

but man can never take God away from you.

He'll be there, always will.

And because of that, I'm going to stay strong!

I'm going to be grateful, I'm going to wake up every morning Smiling..

I'm going to look forward for the weekends, whether is it for tuition or just to spend time with my family,

I will look forward.

Because I know that God will always forever be with me, and no one can ever take Him away. :)

Thankful

2011-07-22T20:32:00.000+08:00

*poke* *poke*

Hey YOU! :)

How are you?

How was your week?

Well, it's Friday! It's almost the end of the week, and here comes the weekend!

Today, one of my beloved Science Teacher retired..

My Friends and I sang a song for her and we also gave her a CD~

She gave a short sweet speech~

She tells us to love others and to put others first..

She also gave thanks to God for everything that He has blessed her with..

The school, the students..

And that really had me thinking...

I've been taking for granted of the relationships that I have lately..

With my new friends, my family..

With God..

I really thank God for putting me into this school..

For blessing me with wonderful, Godly friends..

For blessing me with a wonderful Cell Group,

Blessing me with a wonderful Class,

Blessing me with a wonderful Christian Fellowship club..

I remembered on the first day of school,

I was afraid..

I thought of how would my classmates think of me, who would talk to me..

Who would I go to during recess? What to do during recess?

but to my surprise, when I set my foot upon my new class, 3 Eta, my new classmates warmly welcomed me with open arms..

and I thank God so much for that!

Then He placed me to a seat next to Clara, who showed me around the school during the first day of school, introducing me to her friends during recess...

As time goes by, I've started to take for granted..

I didn't appreciated the friendships that I have..

the wonderful friends around me who were always there for me, correcting my wrongs..

I rush things... Always so self-absorbed..

Concentrated on my studies too much, until I forgot of the people around me...

Never take for granted of the blessings that God has give you..

Always remember that all the things that you have is not yours, but God GAVE them to you so appreciate it and thank God for it!

And give it all back to God :) Because it is all His, not ours.

Open your eyes, look a little deeper...

Look around you...

Open your hearts.. let your guard down.. Let God guide you :)

Dear Friends, let us start appreciating and thanking God for everything He has given us..

Don't complain..

He blesses you with many things in ways that you will never think of..

Saturday

2011-07-16T18:48:00.000+08:00

I don't like leaving my best friend, it makes me sad, but I like to look at it in a positive way, if I don't leave my best friends, I won't get to make new ones. And I like making new friends.

Hehe.. got that short passage from a story book I'm currently reading.

Anyways, hey everyone!

It's Saturday!

and I'm all alone in my house!

haha!

So I'm just gonna use this quiet little time to blog!

Today our school had Hari Keluarga!

haha.. it was like a carnival day~

I helped out in my CF store ^^..

We did song requesting haha!

the box to put in the coupons

It was my first time actually participating in this kind of stuff..

I kept telling myself : "Why am I doing this?"

and..

Well... I'm doing it to help out my friends!

HEHE!

XD..

Yup yup, so I went to school at 7a.m, then off we went setting up the booths and everything!

Jun Mann, Zhi Xuan. Joshua, Jun Maan's Brother, Clovey, Anantha, Yen Meeng, Joshua Wong, were all there to help out too!

It wasn't lonely anymore standing at the stand if it wasn't for all of them!

Hehe..

Yup yup.. then I went home..

and..

go for tuition = =''

XD..

Yeah it was pretty fun now that I think about it..

hehe..

Mmm..

Saturday Evening..

I guess it's alright to feel lonely every now and then.

Jesus will be there! ^^..

Gotta be strong..!

Impossible?

2011-07-13T20:09:00.000+08:00

" ... I'll be praying along with you."

Everything in our lives seems so impossible to achieve..

Might be our grades,

Dreams,

Work,

or even people, Relationships.

Sometimes you pray and pray and pray..

but it seems like it will never, ever come true..

And you ask : ' Where are you, God?'

I read my devotion yesterday, and it says : "Always be joyful in hope, patience and prayer."

Hope is ' the present enjoyment of a future desire ',

It might be having hope that you'll get flying colors for your exams,

or it might be even a dear friend or a family member receiving Christ, accepting Salvation.

Or perhaps... even walking the aisle one day with that special someone? Hehe..

We must always be joyful in hope, always knowing that God does hear our prayers, and He will make it all come true!

Next is patience..

Be joyful, in patience.

Always knowing that those who wait, will eventually reap the harvest.

Then it's about always being faithful in prayer.

Don't give up praying!

Just keep on praying.!!

While doing all of that, remember do be joyful.

God does hear your prayers, and He will answer them in the right time.

So.. never give up your hope in Him! Because He never once gave up hope on you!

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want..

He makes me to lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside the still waters..

Tired

2011-07-09T16:48:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone!

Fuh.. I' so tired right now..

Just finished practicing my violin hehe..

Still have so many unfinished work..

warrghh!

Though everyday it seems like a dread to wake up from your bed,

you think : "Ugh.. it's another day.."..

Though we might seem so tried, so many things to do..

so little time..

It's alright!

Take a deep deep breath..

COME ON! DO IT NOW!!

deep breaths..

deep.. deep breaths..

it's alright..

everything is alright..

You know that we can rely on God's strength ..

You know that God has already planned everything out..

You know that He will still love you through it all..

You know that He does have a future for you!

So it's alright..

don't rush..

You can do it!

2011-07-06T19:03:00.000+08:00

I feel like writing..

.. but I don't know what to write.

haha!

hmm.. feeling rather.. solemn right now.

gaahh!

oh wells..

It's the season to give up everything and letting go to God

Till then, Goodbye, Little Angel.

2011-07-05T21:07:00.005+08:00

I must be crazy..

Camilia, stop dreaming your little fairy tale dreams..

It will never come true..

but then...

could we be wishing the same wish on the same bright morning star?

It helps.. to think that we're sleeping under the same night sky..

Staring at the same cloud.. the same moon...

Little Angel..

If we're meant to be, perhaps God will make a way for You and Me in the future..

See you in another 6 years..

I think.

Keep Climbing

2011-07-05T15:06:00.001+08:00

Hey!

Well, just got back from school.

Life's a Climb, but the view is great.

- Quote for the Day

The Visit

2011-07-04T19:14:00.000+08:00

Hey hey!

What's up y'all!

XD..

Today's a holiday!!

And what did I do today?

I..

did my homeworks.

WARRGHHH!!!!!!!

then I watched : "Hannah Montana : The Movie" ! BWAHAHA!

That movie really made me happy :)

WHY?

Because...

LUCAS TILL!!!!

*screams*

AHHHH!!!

Because I'm so crazy now, I'm going to put another pic of him..

AHHH!!!

AWWWWWWW.. HE LOOKS SOOOO CUTE AND HANDSOME!!!

I wonder if he has blue eyes..

YES HE HAS!!!!!!!

OH MY!!!
AND HE HAS DIMPLES!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

* dies *

okay..

back to the topic...

YEAH, after that I went for violin classes etc. etc...

I kept thinking about the past,

how I was in the past and everything..

I really miss those days.

Those days where I don't have anything to worry about,

those days where I would just laugh all crazily with my buddies..

Where did that go?

It's still here.

Yesterday, My dad's Friend's family came and visited us!

Their family and my family go way way back!

My mum babysit their son, Alfred, ever since he was VERY SUPER SMALL.

And he is still small even now!

HAHA!

I remembered last time I played running with him and he got a scar because of that.

=X..

HEHE.. cute little boy boy.

you should see his SISTER!

When you meet her, she'll be super very shy.

She'll need time to 'warm up'.

After a few minutes...

She will turn into..

ganas girl...

hahaha!

She hates eating dinner too.

haha!

Yeah..

Yesterday as I was browsing my friends' profile in facebook,

I felt like I was lacking a lot of things in life..

Friends...

Love...

Dreams...

Looks..

I lacked a lot.

Then they came..

There is one saying I came through in twitter :

"Don't think about what you lack in your life, think about the things others lack that you don't lack."

Everyone is blessed with something different.

Some with Families,

Some with everlasting Friendships,

Some with True Loves..

But there's one thing that we ALL have and that we DON'T lack..

and that is..

God! :)

As I was watching the movie just now,

there was a song called : "You'll always find a way back home."

Yup, I have to agree with it..

No matter what decisions you make, no matter what dreams you're having, no matter what actions did you do,

You will always find your way back home.

There will always be someone out there who would hold your hand, saying that they love you no matter what you did in the past or today.

Could be your family :)

So no worries yea :)

Cheers!!

MY LIFE! :)

2011-07-02T17:49:00.001+08:00

Hey!

Currently listening to Winter Sonata Only You Violin Instrumental.

So I decided to put that as my pic for today's post!

Haha!

Today I went to school for the 1 Larian 1 Malaysia thingy thing.

Haha!

Shalom, Zhi Xuan, Dylan, Anantha, Matthew, Mathias and all of us decided to do it the 'CF' style, by walking together!

BUT.. it failed..

Because we were walking so SLOW LOL,

so some other people when ahead instead haha!

But it was fun!

Had fun talking with Shalom and Zhi Xuan!

^____^..

Yesterday was my school's open day,

my CF friends and I cleaned the Revo Garden for Recess Revolution!

Haha! then we sold some pizzas!

After that we had meeting,

during meeting we celebrated our dear Clovey's Birthday!!

hehe!

Behold our special, dearest, CLOVEY!

^__^..

hahaha it was fun!

YUP YUP..

so those are little bits of my life..

It's the second day of July now!

Been missing a lot of old friends who had once blessed my life and still blessing it now.

:(..

and that includes the little angel!

secret.. ssh!

HEHE!

it's 3 more months till PMR,

I've decided to put my family first and also Studies this month.

Gotta work hard for God this PMR!

No more computers, outings.. etc.

HEHE!

Not sure if I can do that or not haha!

yea..

School is fun!

Haha!

but there were still nights where I'll get sad and cry..

so.. yea..

Have a GREAT month!

I miss you

Commitments?

2011-06-25T16:34:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I had a little tough time making decisions..

My old church friends, who are very, very dear to me, is coming to Subang tomorrow!

They're going there for a seminar in a Church..

Since Subang and Shah Alam is quite near, I felt very excited and I told myself that I want to see them..

No matter what!

The seminar is at 2p.m until don't know what time..

but the thing is..

I'm having my worship practice at 3:30p.m to 5p.m..

At first, I told myself :

"Oh well, it's okay lah, my friends are more important. Skip one practice never mind one lah.. Next week can still practice.. Besides, it's not everyday I got to see them.."

So I told my old church friends that I'm going to the seminar..

Before I slept, I had my usual devotion time with God..

I was asking God whether doing this is right..

If you were on my shoes, what would you do?

Meet the friends whom you haven't met for a long long time?

Or go to your usual commitments?

In my heart, my old church friends are way more important..

I haven't seen them for quite a long time..

I missed them so so much!

But then.. I feel that it isn't right..

On Thursday during CG, I learnt about commitments.

My CG leader said this :

" Many things will come and test your commitments. "

Going to the worship practice is my responsibility...

It's my commitment..

I told God : "Lord, I guess I'm going to the practices then.. Lord, even though I love them so much, but I know Lord, that I'll always get to see them again some other time."

And so..

I decided not to go to the seminar..

I felt kind of sad at first..

But it's alright!

I gotta stay committed in what God has in store for me..

It was really hard for me to make that decision..

I just don't know what's right.. or wrong..

but by faith, we just go!

Same goes to you,

will you stay committed to your commitments or let it go when other things come?

When things go down..

2011-06-24T19:17:00.001+08:00

Hmm.. I felt a little .. emo just now.

I was feeling like no one cares for me..

I was feeling that no one loves me...

I keep loving them but .. nobody loves me..

Nobody misses me..

Nobody cares for me..

I got tired and I decided to take a nap.

A Long LONG nap.

After that nap,

I stared at the white ceiling.

"Did you forget who decided to re-do your ceiling? Did you forget.. all of that?"

I stared up the ceiling,

I stared at the memories.

From the time my dad spent such a hard time doing the house and everything..

And to the time, when I'm just laughing and singing funny funny songs in class..
To CF Camps..

To CG Meetings..

Did I forget all of that..?

When things go down,

and things don't go your way,

think about why were you on Earth in the first place.. God has a reason.

When things go down,

look at the little things around you..

Appreciate those things..

When things go down,

look at the people who truly loves you..

They are the ones who will never leave your back.

Don't rely on feelings.

I have a little weakness..

Too often I rely on feelings..

I do things according to my feelings..

When I don't feel good, then I don't do it.

It shouldn't be like that because feelings will fade.

You must have commitment..

Do it, because you want to.

Not because you feel like doing it.

Time for a new lesson.

Look around you..

What's up What's up

2011-06-24T16:37:00.000+08:00

buhhhh..

Hello peoplesssssssss.....................................

So here I am, once again, on the chair, with a towel wrapped around my head.. typing this..

roar...

SIGHHH...

Kari Jobe

2011-06-17T21:05:00.000+08:00

Everyone, Meet,

Kari Jobe.

She's a worship leader in Gateway Worship and she travels all around the world, worship leading, shining God's love to people.

"Music becomes a way to minister to people in times of trouble, to lead them to the feet of Jesus who can bring peace, life, hope and healing." - Kari Jobe

I came to know one of her song, called : "You are for Me" one day in Church and I came home, searching for this song. And also searching for the singer.

She's everything I want to be..

I told God : " God, I want to be just like her too."

I want to impact people's life through music..

I want to bring people to worship...

Whenever I go to worship concerts or even just a Sunday Service, when I see people raising their hands, worshiping God, it makes me go like, 'Wow'..

but then it's such a big dream...

I bet it's totally I impossible for me haha!

Well, I'm just committing my dream into God's hands..........

I don't know anything...

I'll just let God do everything and plan my way...

I am willing to give up my dream, if that dream isn't God's way for me...

I am willing Lord..

Mistakes

2011-06-17T17:18:00.000+08:00

Hello!

Well, I'm finally home after a super LONG day at school..

Finally Friday.

We have to admit and accept that we're not perfect,

We have to admit that we'll make mistakes,

We have to admit that we're not important to anyone at all even though sometimes we feel that we're important.

We have to admit that God is the one, who fought for you...

Sometimes I just blame myself..

I blame.. and I blame.. and I blame..

I blame myself for making so much mistakes, I blame myself for rushing things, I blame myself for worrying so much..

I blame myself for doubting about things and thinking of things that are not real..

Why can't I just chill..

Why can't I just lay it all to God..

why can't I just smile and tell myself that it's going to be alright?

Why do I always doubt about so many things?

Why do I always make so much mistakes..??

Why..

T.T...

I read my devotion yesterday, it says that God works in our imperfections.

An ugly Caterpillar will soon become a beautiful butterfly..

Faith alone pleases God..

We just need to have faith and trust in God!!

@.@''..

I know that all I need is faith..

but I don't know why I'm having such a hard time building up faith!

I don't know why ........ ARRGHH!!!

:'(..

SIGH..

It's not about my way... it's about God's way...

2011-06-15T21:28:00.004+08:00

Dearest Blog,

Well, I missed you. Time to write you. Haha!

School results are out, I'm pretty sad about it. I only got 2 A's! It all seem so hopeless, I can't decide whether I should take tuition or not. PMR is just in a few more months time, what would happen then? I hope I would do my best for God...

It had been busy these few days, I couldn't take naps because I had to stay up all afternoon doing my folios.. then go to tuition.. then to piano class.. but, today, with God's help, I finally finished up my folios! Thank God! I feel so relieved right now, but, I might need to pay a visit to the stationary shop again tomorrow. It's the 3rd time now. Jeez.

My friends and I cleaned the canteen yesterday for Recess Revolution. It was fun!

I'm listening to one of my favorite Christian song right now.

Dearest Blog,

Why can't some of my desires become true? Why don't I get the things that I always wanted? Then again, God knows the things that we need. He will provide because He cares for us. Why am I even complaining? Silly me.

Well, life sure is tough and rough. I sure wish I wouldn't need to wake up in the morning, I wish I could just lay in bed all day long. But I know my beloved Father in Heaven would't like that. Oh well, He goes before me, He will fight for me.

Dearest Blog,

Time to go to bed now. Good night.

Love,
Camilia.
15th June 2011

2011-06-12T19:26:00.002+08:00

I just need to be a little bolder..

A little stronger..

Forever friends

2011-06-11T12:49:00.000+08:00

I was just writing a letter for my best friend who is in Australia a few minutes ago..

As I was writing, I felt a bit of sadness..

When business comes along our way, when distance separates..

We seem to forgot about the dear ones around us..

We forgot their presences, we ignore them, we don't even acknowledged them anymore..

I know how it feels when someone so dear to you, has began slowly to distance themselves to you..

You say 'Hi'. they don't even reply.

Like strangers...

:'(

Let's not let time come into our way..

take time, set apart time to spend it with your dear ones..

Those dear ones who has once made you smile when you want to cry,

those dear ones who has never once left your side..

those dear ones who has loved you, accepted you for who you are..

Let's make time, when there is not enough time.

I don't know what to do

2011-06-10T20:07:00.000+08:00

I don't know what to do anymore..

I've let go.. but the pain's still there...

Why must it be so hard..?

siggghhhh..

Oh Little Heart, can't you just be a little hard and stronger? Don't be too soft... don't fall so easily...

Oh well, time will slowly pass by..

Slowly.. time will mend it..

It'll be alright...

God has overcome my feelings... my thoughts... my everything...

don't fear.

Don't look back

2011-06-09T20:40:00.000+08:00

Hey hey hey!

Waddup peeps?

XD..

I just came back from my school's Christian Fellowship Camp.

It's 4 days and 2 nights and it was in El Sanctuary, Malacca.

I definitely had a blast within those 4 days...

I met a lot of new friends and I finally get to know all my new friends a little better now.. :)

What I learnt from this camp is that no matter how lost you may seem, God will always be Your hero, always ready to rescue you and lift you up...

T_________T..

I really miss my Christian Fellowship Club friends now haha!!!

Throughout the camp, I can really see that all of them are very loving and kind people...

Even though sometimes things might get rough, but they just never give up, and they just always continue holding each other's hand, supporting them..

That really inspires me!

I thank God so much for sending Godly friends to my path..

Before I shifted to Shah Alam, all my sisters and brothers in Christ also prayed for me that God will send Godly friends..

I never thought that I would find those Godly friends in school..

I really thank God lah!

haha!

Mmm!

Though sometimes we might get tired, and we feel like giving up so much..

but God will be there for you, cheering you to go on and move forward!

God works behind the scenes in your life...

Have faith in Him!

Holidays, holidays

2011-06-03T21:26:00.000+08:00

*stretches*

Hey hey! How are all of you doing?

Well, it's the holidays, and... I learnt a lot of things :)

On Wednesday, I went to my friend's house to do my school's Civic Project.

My friend's sister, IS SUPER DUPER CUTE AND SWEET!

Haha!

She made me a card~

It wrote : 'Erica love Camilia'

I was so touched when I saw that!

The day before, I was just telling God that the world hates me, nobody loves me...

Just felt really sad.. haha..

then suddenly, God sent Erica to me!! haha...

awwww... it really touched my heart.. almost cried haha!!

I learnt that love doesn't mean that you need to hold hands, talk to each other frequently..

Love can be as simple as saying 'I love you'..

Love isn't meant to be complicated, but... we all have made it complicated.. :(

Fights... arguments..

No need to be so complicated..

ALRIGHTS!

I wanna do something for my beloved Daddy this Father's Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wish I could buy him his dream car.. =(..

But I only have RM300................................................................................................

OH WELLSSS!!

XD..

2011-05-31T22:11:00.001+08:00

Slow down

2011-05-31T22:01:00.003+08:00

I came home after tuition.

"Camilia, dinner's at the table." Mum pointed to the table as soon as I set my foot upon the house.

"Good," I thought, "Just in time."

I looked at the food laid in front of me at the table, said grace, and quickly gobbled up the food.

"Maybe I'm just not important enough..Maybe they've forgotten me."

One scoop.

"Why? Why have they forgotten me?"

Another scoop.

"Maybe I was just a pain in their neck last time, so they've forgotten me."

One more scoop. Faster.

"I guess I'm just not so important after all."

Faster.

"Slow down, Camilia. Slow down."

I stopped eating, staring at the food once more. Staring at the past memories which are starting to slowly fade away.

Slow down.

Just then, my phone began to vibrate.

It was a message from one of my beloved Aunt :

"Proverbs 20:24, Since the Lord is directing our steps, why try to understand everything that happens along the way or the direction of our life? Allow God's Word to change your pattern of thinking - setting you free from limits that people, circumstances or you put on yourself. God bless you."

***

So many times, I have the thought that everyone has forgotten about this girl..

This small, timid girl, who appears to be strong and bold in the outside.. but in the inside, she's crying, she's asking for help, she's hurt.

I have so many questions to ask God..

Why..

How...

WHY...

It kinda hurts when the person that you trust so much slowly fades away from your story book, your life story.

Perhaps, friends are indeed just like balloons after all.

Some just stay by your side for a few minutes and go away.. just like that.

Some stay by your side for a longer time, but eventually, you'll have to let go, to let them fly to the distant skies above.

I always ask God, why...

"I thought they'll still be by my side... Where are they now, Lord? Where? Why Lord... Why.."

I guess, this is part of life.

Friends come and go..

Families come and go...

People come and go....

but God stays by your side forever.

You will never, ever, have to say 'Goodbye' to God..

Place your trust in the Lord, not on man...

God never leaves... He never ever leaves..

He didn't left me when I was in Cheras,

He was still with me when I came to Shah Alam...

and He will always be with you and I, no matter where we go.

So many questions to ask, but so little answers.

but if we question God's way for us, we will never, ever know the answer.

Because God is so big, He knows everything, we're so small... so why even bother asking 'Why'?

Just... have faith.

It hurts.

It definitely hurts.

but it's alright.

That's part of life!

When we die, when we finally meet our God face to face, He will dry up our tears.

No more sadness.

No more fear.

No more worries.

No more hurts..

It's alright.

Lord, I love You. I just want to be with You forever.. and always.

A toast for the 300th post!

bloggie.com

2011-05-31T17:48:00.000+08:00

LOL! Guess what happened just now?

I typed "http://www.bloggie.com" on my URL box instead of "http://www.blogger.com"

XD..

Sigh, I have nothing to do now.

I don't want to go to Facebook, and yet, it is the only website to go to whenever I on my computer.

=/..

God works in many special ways

2011-05-30T17:23:00.000+08:00

Just wanna share you all a little something I went through this week (:..

God works in many special ways.

Sometimes, we won't see His ways until the very last minute.

Sometimes, we might not even understand what His ways for us are.

but His ways, are truly the best ways for us in our lives.

I'm still struggling on many different decisions to make..

Which Church to go, which worship songs to pick..

And sometimes, when I ask God what is His opinion and what should I do,

He always tell me decisions that I'm far too afraid to do, too afraid to take that step of faith.

"Lord, if that's what You really want, then I guess I'll just go for it then. *deep breaths* This is it Lord."

And so, I took that step of faith to go to that Church that God has told me to go,

and I ended up having a really great time! :)

You see, many many times, we're so afraid to just trust in the Lord, to trust in the ways He has planned for us..

But let me tell you something, whatever decisions you have made, God will be with you.

God is for you, and He WILL be with YOU!

It may be difficult some times..

So difficult many many times..

but hey, God is a faithful God ya? :)

I've learnt from church last week that it's okay to go to my room, to shut the door, and to just cry all I want, asking God for help..

It's okay that nobody loves you, it's okay that everyone looks down on you...

It's okay that you feel discouraged by it, it's okay to let the tears fall..

because..

God will take away all that pain, He will take it all...

amazing isn't it?

you are His beloved child..

A Child who is specially made by Him..

A precious Child.

He will never let you go...

Cheers for God!

dududu

2011-05-28T15:53:00.000+08:00

Wazzzzuuuppp PEOPLE!!!

XDD...

I am tera giga mega super bored right now..

BUT!!!

I am glad that I could be BORED and not BUSY!!

BWAHAHAHA!

Well I just cleaned up my room.

Before :

( during exam period)

After :

?????

Lalalalala..

I am so bored...

My Mum has an email address!

Now I can send her emails and everything~

I'm so happy for her!

but then..

just now when she called me about how to use it..

I sorta.. raised my voice when I was explaining to her.. >.<..

Aiks..

I must control my temper hoho!!

After shifting here to Shah Alam,

I can really see what wonderful parents I have!

My mum, she knew I was afraid of cockroaches..

Before the exam. it's like every night also got cockroach in the toilet!!

So my mum bought a spray and spray the toilet every night, killing all the cockroaches..

Even though she was afraid, but she still did it.

My mum.. is the bravest person ever.

At times, she would just tell me : "Camilia, don't be a coward like me. You must be brave."

Mum, thank you.

And my dad, he is the most caring man I have ever met!

THE MOST CARING MAN IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!

XD..

He is a super great cook too!

(:..

He would drive 1000 miles ( literally) just to fetch me to somewhere I want to go..

My daddy ROCKS!!

hahaha..

My Brother : The Most Caring Brother EVERRR!!!

like my dad!

TeeHee!

My Sister ?

The sweetest girl you will ever, ever meet.

Seriously.

She's like only 7, but she can write notes and fold paper hearts, and when you get 'em, your heart will melt and a smile would surely appear in your face (:

Ahhh..

I love my Family!!

But there are also times where we would fight.. make each other angry... shout at each other etc..

so we should try hard to reduce all those arguments and start appreciatin' and showin' the love!

When you get into an argument, remember to say sorry!

and also forgive!

When you do your part, God will do His part and make a way for you!

My Life?

Yeah.. I think I'm starting to 'be myself' now in my new circle of friends..

but I am definitely changed..

God has mold me and shaped me!

I pray every night that He would be the one to mold me into someone He wants me to be and not the world to mold me..

but still, my head will always be flooded with questions like : "Am I doing the right thing? " "Is this who I am?"

and there are also times where I just lose my patience..

>.<.. yikes..

I'm so sorry dear friends if I've ever lost my temper..

To Shalom, Ong Yee, Heidi and the rest of the RR team...

yikesssss.. that time was I over-reacting??

so sorry.. T______T...

I love you all ya!!!

T_________________________________________T...

Oooohhhh!!!

My School's Wonderful Form 3 Recess Revolution Christian Fellowship Team made 50 cards for teachers for teacher's day!

Those are just the letters to put in the cards. I didn't had a chance to take the picture of the heart-shaped cards..

Nice right?

Hehe.. thanks for all your hard work dear friends!

All of you ROCKS! XD..

My school's CF Camp is coming soon!

Looking very forward for it! (:

I hope I'll get to know more and understand my new friends there! (:..

And one more thing..

Chubby didn't came back..

Chubby my cute little doggy.. T___T...

She went missing em.. a few weeks ago..

and she didn't came back..

sobssss...

oh wellsssss.....

Happy Holidays Everyone!

and also have a great SUNDAY tomorrow!!

I can finally blog

2011-05-27T17:41:00.000+08:00

Ahhh~

I can finally sit on my comfy comfy chair and blog!

Hohos..

I miss you dearly much, Dearest Blogie!

Exam's finished just yesterday, and phew, I feel so much relaxed now!

Haha!

I've been studying day and night for almost 5 to 6 days now..

Didn't played the computer..

Didn't "chill"~

And to tell you the truth, it wasn't easy..

I got easily angry...

like..

When I studied so hard then I couldn't even have a short time of break,

It really stresses me up..

I got the "exam flu"..

Flu, Sore Throat, Cough.. urghh..

But it's all over now!

Thank You Lord, for Your strength!

So how's your life, dear reader?

I've had a thought recently..

If all of us were author, we would write all different kinds of novels!

because all of us live different lives..

Then it would sell millions, billions of copies..

and we can finally see how other people live their lifes..

When I was just a little kid,

I used to 'want' to feel and see how others live their lifes..

I was always confused and I think a lot..

I closed my eyes and I just.. I just want to feel all the people.. I want to feel them..

I just felt like I'm the only person in this world..

Living here..

because we only see the things we see in our own eyes..

I wonder what does the world look like in each and everyone's eyes..

When I'm in my daddy's car, I would see all other cars passed by..

I would think : " What would I be like if I were them? "

And I would wish I was there to see how their lives went..

Haha...

Life is indeed precious.

Lately..

I've been feeling kind of down and lonely..

:(..

I feel like no one actually cares of me..

I feel like everyone has forgotten me..

I feel like ... well.. I just feel.. lonely..

All I want is just to have someone to listen..

someone to hold my hand to say : "Hey, it's alright.."

someone to put their hands around my shoulders...

I need a hug...

Each time when I felt like crying,

I would just go to my room and cry secretly..

God was there..

He was there to listen to my cries when no one else knew that I was crying..

He was there to open His arms and tell me that everything is going to be OK..

I'm afraid..

I'm afraid in being lonely..

I'm afraid to face this scary, dark world..

I'm afraid..

Then I open the Bible..

it says : "Don't be afraid, always know that I am God."

Yeah.. I'm praying to God, I'm trusting in God...

God is not man, He will not lie..

God is not man, He will not break His promises..

God IS God..

Sometimes I just feel like nobody likes me...

but I guess that's just my doubts and feelings!

I'm learning to not simply assume and to put things in God's word!

I don't wanna chase my own shadows anymore..

Argh..

I don't know why I feel like this..

Why am I being so mooody this few days??

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:'(..

*sniff* *sniff*...

Pretty Airplane

2011-05-18T21:25:00.000+08:00

" *gasp* Look at that star over there! It's RED! SO PRETTY! "

" You sure it's not an Airplane ? "

"..."

Silence.

A moment later..

"That sure is one pretty airplane!"

Sigh, so hard to differentiate between stars and satellites these day, have I been wishing on Satellites all these while? And all that very same 'satellite'? On that very same 'satellite' that I see every morning when I wait for my Aunt in the wee hours of the morning to fetch me to school, on that very same 'satellite' which accompanied me to the front gates of school, on that very same 'satellite' that I gaze upon each time I felt lonely?

Who knows.

I'm not trusting God enough..

2011-05-15T10:32:00.001+08:00

Hello everyone..!

Well today is Sunday..

I'm suppose to be in church but instead, I'm right here blogging.

Every Sunday Morning would be dreadful..

I don't know which Church to go, I don't know where to go and what to do..

My Mummy and brother has started to go to church every now and then..

but I was afraid to go because I'm worried that I'll be lonely and all..

because Mummy wants to go to another church, and I'll be following brother to another church..

but brother would be seating with cousin.. whereas I think I'll be seating all alone in the midst of everyone..

I'm afraid..

So I told my dad that I won't be going today..

then suddenly my brother and my mum don't want to go..

I went upstairs and prayed to God..

" Lord, I'm sorry that I chose not to go.. it's just that.. I'm really afraid Lord.. I really am afraid.."

" Why are you afraid? Haven't you learnt anything this few weeks? I told you that I'll be there with you, you won't be alone, I'll be there for you. Why are you afraid? Why aren't you trusting in Me? "

:'(.

Why am I not trusting in God that everything will be alright..?

sigh..

I must deny myself..

I must pick up my cross and follow Him..

I mustn't be afraid to walk through the dark valley all alone..

God will be the light..

It might be hard at first, but in the end, everything will be alright..

I'm sorry Lord..

T____________________________T..

Dear friends..

yeahh.. always know that God will be there with you!

It's hard in the beginning, but learn to take that step of faith FORWARD!

I'm still learning..

and I'll LEARN!!!

LORD!!!

I WILL LEARN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here in my Life

2011-05-14T17:55:00.000+08:00

Hello Hello!

I just want to take this time to write my little bloggie~

Hoho~

Well exam's getting nearer and I don't know why I'm not nervous or worried for it!!

ARRGHH!!

hahahahaa!

but I'll try my best for God!

Well today when I woke up,

I asked myself : " Well it's Saturday again.. and what do I do today?"

And immediately, the reply was : "Tuition Intensive Class."

No going out, No moving outings, no youth meetings..

Just books books books.

Tuitions tuitions tuitions.

and maybe a little of computer and food..

but oh wells!

My life now might not be the same as the last time,

but God is there..

He's there putting His shoulders around mine, He's there to hug me..

He's always there telling me : "It's going to be alright."

I'm still having many many fears in life..

but God always assures me that everything will be alright..

Everything , too, will be alright in your life!

Cheers and smile always!

Do everything for God!

I have nothing better to do

2011-05-09T19:18:00.001+08:00

WaaazzzzuuuuUUuup PEOPLEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeaaaaahhhhh

Wooooooo HOooooooooOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

nanananananaanananaaaaaaa.....................................................

wuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUU.............

wipieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

blah blah blaaahhhhhhhh..........

BLEEKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay. back to homework!

Weeee

2011-05-04T17:09:00.001+08:00

lalala..

I'm so bored...

Well exam's in 2 weeks time!

And I'm on my way doing my History Project!

Friday is going to be Library Day! Haha!

Now I couldn't count on tuition, notes anymore..

Time to COUNT ON GOD!

-gulp-

After the rain

2011-05-02T19:17:00.000+08:00

It has been raining a lot these days huh?

I was just doing my Chinese Homework this afternoon,

I came through a passage that wrote :

"Sometimes to be happy means to loose everything you have in your life."

I looked out my window,

and thought about everything in my life..

Many things has changed throughout these 4 months.

Can you believe it? It's been exactly four months!

At some moments in my life I would just question God and blame Him..

" Why God..? Why must You put me here? I don't like it here... I don't like it all.. I feel so alone.. I want to go home.. I want to meet my old friends... I want to go back, Lord.. I want to go back.. I don't want to face the scary world anymore Lord..."

God has took precious friends out from my life,

God has took out everything which I've grown fond of out from my life...

and He puts me in a place called SHAH ALAM.. haha!

For the first few months, I felt like I was floating.. floating.. don't know where to go and everything..

but God has been keeping me safe, He has held me close to His heart..

He is always assuring me, even though everything has gone in my life, He is still there..

" I'm here. "

Now it's May..

and, to tell you the truth, I've become more and more happy now here!

haha!

God knows what you and I need and what you and I don't need in our lives..

He cares for you and He won't ever give something that you don't like..

When a problem comes,

always remember that God is your strength..

He is there holding you, always protecting you.

What can be against us?

We have a Great Almighty God looking after us :)

After the Rain, comes the Light..

Continue to trust in God and know that HE WILL bring light to your life!

The Party doesn't ends here, it begins now.

Have a great week dear friends!

Just you wait

2011-05-01T18:13:00.000+08:00

Woweeee!!!

I'm so happy~!!!

I'm so happy...

A few months ago,

I always asked God to give me a chance to serve Him..

and also to improve the relationships between my new friends and I...

At some nights before I went to bed,

I would just cry.. and cry...

Because I felt that I don't belong anywhere... Everywhere I go, I would surely feel loneliness.

These few days, I had so much fun!

I met so many new friends...

And God gave me so many opportunity to serve Him!

First was in my school's CF, then to Subang Rally!

I'm like.. WOW!

Today was also our Subang Rally's worship team practice,

I had so much fun!!! I'm so happy!!!

hahahaha...

Ahhhhh!!!

I just love everything right now in my life...

But I won't ever forget those who first told me about the Faith..

I won't forget the Lord who has heard and answered my prayers...

Dear friends..

When you pray for something..

You need to wait... and wait... and wait...

And of course.. you need to trust... and trust.. and trust!

" Lord, but I only get to meet and be with them for another 3 more months.. I'm going to miss them so much.. I'm gonna treasure every moment from now on Lord!"

" Haha, just you wait Camilia... just you wait..." The Lord answered me.

I"M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

^______________________________________^....

thank You Lord...

GOD WILL ANSWER YOUR PRAYERS!

I love GOD! :D

2011-04-30T20:59:00.001+08:00

Wowee!

Today our school's CF Club had an Easter Rally!

It was totally awesome!

Haha!

I was the back-up singer for the worship team today..
Well even though I'm just the back-up, but I felt satisfied..
Like a dream come true!

Yeah.. but I have a totally bad voice lol..

I don't think I can sing anymore hahaha..
Oh wells, today was a really fun day :)

It was kinda tiring at first..
I had so many comments about my voice..

" Sing louder!"

"Sing with your stomach!"

And fu fu!

I tried so hard to do it..
But it's so hard :(

It's alright though..

I'm doing it all for Jesus!

Haha!

Yeah.. today I also went to mamak with my CF friends during lunch XD
It was fun!

Hahahahahaha!!
:D

Mmmm!

I thank the Lord for giving me so many responsibilities and chances to serve Him..

Even though I may not be the best singer.. the best keyboardist... the best guitarist...
And I may not be the best in people's eyes... I may look weird... sound weird..

But I know that God is proud of me.. that's all I know haha.. I'm doing it all for Him~

Thank You Lord...

Lord.. I think maybe being the singer is not the right plan that You have in store for me..
I know it now Lord.. thank You Lord, for still giving me a chance.. making my dream come true..

THANK YOU LORD!!

Yeah! And I met a few new friends today!

Hohos!

Satisfied

2011-04-25T19:19:00.000+08:00

Everyone has different lives.

They have a different life to live for...

No matter how alike an individual is to the other, their lives are different.

Some people has found true love,

Some people has live a life filled with the warmth of their families and friends...

I for one..

Has found a dream.

And I'm living that dream.

I'm satisfied with what I have now..

I'm satisfied to see my dad come to school to fetch me everytime after school...

I'm satisfied to just seat by my window, watching the rain falls..

We all live a different life.

but each and every life is precious..

What kind of life are you living?

Turning to another person?

2011-04-19T20:57:00.000+08:00

" C'mon Camilia! Cheer up! Why do you look so sad?"

My friend, who was seating beside me in class, shooked my shoulders as I was trying to concentrate in class, reading the History textbook.

Or maybe I was wandering through my thoughts.

In tuition :

" Camilia, why do you look so grumpy today?"

"I do..? oh no! I really do? " I asked my friend for assurance, freaking out.
"Yeah, you look unhappy and sad..! Are you sure you're okay?"

" Yeah, I'm just fine! Oh noooo.. do I really look sad..?" I asked another friend.

" Well.. actually yeah, you look kinda stressed out when you looked at the science note."

Blank.

OH NOOOOOOOO..

do I really look stressed out?

Maybe I didn't had enough sleep today...

=(..

I'm so shy nowadays! ARGHH!!

NOO!!

Camilia isn't suppose to be shy!!

Camilia is suppose to be hyper!!!

=(..

Just writing

2011-04-18T15:54:00.000+08:00

Woohoo!

Hey bloggie! It's just you and me now..

Hehe..

Somehow when I go online, I feel lonely too :(

Nobody talks to me!!!!

and I talk to no one!!!!

so boring.. =/

Haha!

So I guess I'll just blabber all my feelings, thoughts and whatever in this post of mine..

And I don't care whether I'll bore you to death =P

Somehow I have a habit to look at people's picture at facebook.

( S T A L K E R!!! )

and I like clicking "older post" on people's wall!

HAHA!

When I look at their pictures,

somehow I feel that I'm having a glimpse of their lives.

When I see how happy they are with their friends,

I feel happy too, even if I'm not part of their picture.

Glad to know that you're moving on with your life and making new memories! =)

Bwahaha so yes, Camilia ish a STALKER!

XD..

I'm sure you are one too! =P

du du du du~~

Daddy has went out to work, Mummy too,

sister went to school, brother went out.

And I'm all alone in the house.

I like being alone, I like having that peaceful feeling, I like listening to nothing at all.

HMMMmmm..

yeah, in my life, there's still plenty of unfinished business, undecided decisions, thoughts that wander around.. doubts that filled my mind..

But I'll just trust in the Lord that He'll deal with all those worries in my life! =)

Are YOU bored yet? =P

Aiyo..

go msn also nobody online..

go facebook also nobody to talk to..

Wasting time only lah!

Go study Camilia!

teehee!

Camilia is still :

sad

happy

satisfied

confused

wandering

thinking

doubting

trusting in God

having faith in God

holding God's hands

scared

weak

but a bit stronger

a bit fearless

keeping the hope

ahhhhh~~

okay lah.

until here only lah.

Bye-bye.

Waiting

2011-04-17T12:46:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.. so how's my life?

Yeah, I guess it's getting pretty good.. Praise God!

Yesterday I went to an Easter Party..

I had a good time!

I felt very, super happy! haha!

I also learnt about Friends~

We have many friends..

But how many of them could actually be there when you needed them?

How many of them would answer your call in the middle of the night, no matter how late is it..?

How many of them would just agree to talk to you even though they feel so tired..
How many of them would just laugh at your jokes even though it isn't funny..?

How many of them would just accept you for who you are..?

Yeah...

It kinda strucked me..

I want to be that kind of friend who is closer than a brother..

Easter is coming!

:) Few more days to go..

I'll wait upon God..

I'll trust in Him...

I'll obey Him..

^_^

Depend on feelings?

2011-04-13T21:19:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.. throughout my life..

I've always believed to never depend on my feelings...

until I came through a post...

which wrote :

"If you feel something, it's true. The only truth you can really know is something emotional that you feel. When we lose our instincts for truth, we have nothing."

Hmmm...

to believe.. or not to believe..??

Our God is an Awesome God

2011-04-11T18:44:00.001+08:00

Name tag from Worship Auditions on Sunday!

Many times, we fail to place our trust in God,

many times, we break His heart,

many times, we fail to obey Him and just follow our own way..

But God still has His arms open for you,

God still cares for you...

God still loves you...

God still holds your hand...

God is still waiting for you to go to Him and say "Sorry Father,"..

Our God is an Awesome God..

So awesome until He gave His one and only SON to die on the cross for YOU.

for the you who keeps on sining,

for the you who is imperfect and judge and gossip about people,

for the you who keeps complaining about how much your life is not worth..

for the you who don't even obey HIM....

Still, He gave His one and only Son to die for You...

He is still waiting for you...

waiting for you to go back to Him...

Trust in Him...

In Christ alone, your hope, your life, your everything is found...

Place your anxieties to Him, place your hope, your trust...

Surrender your life to Him...

He is ready to give you that great big Hug!

=')

Ain't God just so amazing?

Once again

2011-04-09T22:10:00.001+08:00

So here I am once again,

Saturday.

This week had been a blessed week.

I've learnt a lot of things.

Shed a few tears,

made a few laughters.

And again, it all comes back to Jesus.

Lord, thank you Lord for giving me the strength to move on,

I had a great day today, thank You Lord...

I really appreciate happy moments and moments when you never usually get.

Today, I had one of those moments.

I sprayed my wood work with my new classmates,

Chatted with them~

Pretended that there was shootings star on the morning sky with Clovey,

talking about the clouds...

Haha!

Those are the moments that you don't usually get =)

Or at least I don't usually get..

Well.. every moment is precious.

Even moments that are painful and heart-breaking...

they are still precious! =)

Grab any opportunities you can get, appreciate whatever you have,

love your family and your friends, thank the Lord for a second chance everyday...

Do not worry about tomorrow...

Everything is in Control...

~Today was the tomorrow you worried about yesterday~

A post for the New Friends

2011-04-08T17:44:00.000+08:00

I just want to dedicate this post to all my new friends whom I met..

Especially to my new School Friends..

Dearest Schoolmates and Classmates,

thank you for accepting me as part of you all to your new school.. your new class..

I'm so sorry that at times, I just become ignorant..

Sometimes I just become so quiet and so shy that I don't even dare to look at some of you and say a simple 'Hi'.

I'm really truly sorry...

I kept thinking about my past...

My past friends...

until I forgot the new friends that God has blessed me with...

I'm really sorry...

I feel so mean and evil!

*slaps myself*

I'm really sorry...

and thank you again...

I'll be a good friend and try to be myself! =)

Thank you dearest Classmates and Schoolmates...

Looking forward for spending this new year with all of you!

From the Newbie,

Camilia Tee

Happy Birthday Deniece

2011-04-05T06:10:00.000+08:00

Behold! Tadaaa!

The super awesome, beautiful, AMAZING FRIEND + SISTER IN CHRIST,

DENIECE CHONG!!

*throws balloons everywhere*

*cats and kitten wearing birthday hats meowing*

Haha!

Dearest Deniece,

Happy Happy Birthday!!

Thank you so much for everything that you've done in my life..

I just want to tell you that you're an amazing friend who never fails to make everyone around you to smile and feel loved,

you never fail to encourage everyone and you're just that.. awesome DENIECE!

haha.. I really thank God to have placed you in my life =)

Life is short, but it becomes meaningful because of wonderful friends like you!

Deniece- My mentor, my Sister in Christ, and most important of all - my dear friend.

All the best in your life,

and I do believe that God will grant you your desires and your dreams!

You're the person whom I go to whenever I feel sad or when I just need some ~~boy~~ advices..

Deniece, I'll never forget you!

Jesus loves you, never, ever forget that!

Nothing is too impossible for God yea?

Deniece, smile always and continue to be that shining LIGHT for CHRIST!

You are always in my prayers! =)

Never ever give up... and STAY STRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*hugs*

Miss you!

Have a wonderful birthday! =)

With lots of love,

Camilia.

April

2011-04-03T21:49:00.001+08:00

And here's a toast to the beloved month - April!

*clings a glass of super awesome tasty grape champagne together*

And here's a toast to YOU for smiling all the way from January to April!

*clings a glass of another super awesome tasty grape champagne together*

Well done! =)

April is going to be a fantastic month yea?

Leave the past in God's hands and look forward for the future.

Jesus has given you His life,

what more can you ask of?

God loves you and there's nothing impossible for God!

He loves you and He believes in you =)

You belong to Him!

Have a great month and keep smiling all the way!

All the best!